angelcide: (Average)
Seven Deadly Sins

1. Who did you last get angry with?

2. What is your weapon of choice?
boot, knife

3. Would you ever hit a member of the opposite sex?
done it

4. Same sex?
yup, and again...done it

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
? not sure....

6. What is your pet peeve?
fingerbiting & liars

7. Do you keep grudges?
yep...if i feel like it


1. What is one thing you were supposed to do daily that you haven't in a long time?

2. What's the latest you've ever woken up?
8:30 p.m.

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact but haven't?

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
I died

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
yes, and I hated it.

6. When was the last time you had a good workout?
I had a sterling thumb war a little while ago

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm today?
don't have an alarm


1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Red Bull

2. Meat eaters?
i order steak as rare as legally possible

3. What is the greatest amount of Alcohol you've ever consumed in one sitting?
HA! lemme see.....
at 15 I drank a 5th of vodka with pineapple juice chaser, 2 smirnoff, a hieneken and 4 glasses of champaigne

4. Have you ever used a diet company?

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
I have no weight

6. Do you prefer sweets, spicy, or salty foods?

7. Have you ever looked at a housepet or a small child and thought "food"?


1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting family/people in movies/babies)?
@_@ New years party covers at least 20....pagan gatherings covers possibly 100, and through my own smattering of experiences, possibly 20-30 more? soooo approximately 170?

2. How many people have seen you naked (not counting blahblahblah)?
see above

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of the opposite sex during conversation?
more often than not

4. Have you "done it"?
yes, and I'll do it again, and again and some more after that please

5. What is your favorite body part of your gender of choice?
bum...arms, chest ( both sexes)

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?

7. Have you ever had to be tested for an STD?
yes every 6 months


1. How many Credit Cards do you own?

2. What is your guilty pleasure store?
comic book shop

3. If you had 1 million bucks, what would you do?

4. Would you rather be rich or famous?

5. Would you accept a boring job in exchange for megabucks?

6. Have you ever stolen something?
yep....and now I don't

7. How many MP3s do you have on your computer?
( this be alteredboi's puter so I have no clue)


1. What one thing have you done that you're proud of?
raised my brother

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are proud of?

3. What would you like to accomplish in life?
graduate & open my own design studio

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in 2nd place?

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill where you were more skilled than others in the contest and knew it?

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
helped two people who are very dear to me get back in touch


1. What item of your friend's would you like to have the most?
HA! comics maybe, but I have very little that anyone else would want.

2. Who would you want to go on Trading Spaces with?

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
Zophiel ( character)

4. Have you ever been cheated on?

5. Have you ever wished you had a different physical feature than you already have?
I want to be taller, have green eyes, and a better voice

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had in yourself?

7. Do you wish you'd come up with this Survey?

8. What's your favorite sin?
Lust. yes....
angelcide: (sad)
It's storming & I just returned from house of FP. I slept there. possibly the most comfortably, and restfully I have in some time. I didn't wake hungry, or frightened, or disoriented. I was however exceedingly thirsty...

My dreams are already fading but I'll type what I remember. it probably won't make sense.

Sara standing at the door to my room in savannah & crying.

liz eating a muffin with skuttlebutt in her lap..( skuttlebutt is one of the kittens here)

old rusted oil rigging and me far up on it looking down at a mass of people. this is saying something since I was a fox. Wysh picked me up & tucked me into his jacket then scurrying away.

sudden nightfall. and stars as far as I could see. Darkness ( the person) wrapped himself in the night & wove the stars into sand. wysh handing me over to him.
darkness weaving me into the stars.
Pariah weeping on his knees
wysh patting his back & saying it's for the best.

me ....and the stars...

lots of stars.

brando yaelling at the moon and fen howling .
fen is a white wolf. fen is howling at me?

stars. peaceful.
sand and stars and all making shapes in the sky. or is it the ground?

angelcide: (sad)
So, I prayed
But you weren't listening.
Making miracles?

So busy keeping promises to everyone else

So, I begged
But you were far away.
Saving souls perhaps?

making sure you could make a martyr of yourself.

So, I screamed
But she was very small
And you have worlds to mend

being there when it was convienient.

So, she died
And you were glorious
But you were somewhere else

so when your little doll turned a blind eye agian and agian you assumed it was all ok, and she'd always be there

If you are my shepherd
Then I'm lost and no-one can find me
If you are my saviour
Then I'm dead and no-one can help me
If you are my glory
Then I'm sick and no-one can cure me
If you light my darkness
Then I'm blind and no-one can see me

you swore and recanted and swore and recanted. You manipulated, lied and broke that doll.

If you are my father
Then love lies abandoned and bleeding
If you are my comfort
Then nightmares are real and deceiving
If you are my answer
Then I must have asked the wrong question
I'd spit on your heaven
If I could find one to believe in

you are just another fork-toungued one who makes empty promises and then wonders when your doll cries.
angelcide: (pissed)
fiddling with layout ideas...bleh
angelcide: (Default)

What in a cemetery are you? by FictionalVixen.

Bert & Ernie
Bert & Ernie's Gay Love Affair

Look, everyone knows you two are lovebirds. Why
not do the brave thing and admit it to the
world? The times are kinder nowadays. There
may be the odd ultraconservative bigwig or
overprotective mom, but so what? Piss on 'em.
Come on out of the closet. It's ok.

Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Apr. 4th, 2003 05:57 am
angelcide: (Default)
New email
sorry my old one died, ;.;

thank you, that is all.


Mar. 28th, 2003 05:28 pm
angelcide: (Default)
is a
Fruit-Eating Sumo Monkey

...with a Battle Rating of 8.2

To see if your Food-Eating Battle Monkey can
defeat Angelcide, enter your name:


in other news:
I am tired....but happy. odd no? how the stupidest things can make you smile.
I go now, the bathroom is in need of the stink of clean.
angelcide: (Default)
my father thinks I am: an ungrateful mistake
my mother thinks I am: independent yet disorganized
my sibling thinks I am: non-existent
my grandma thinks I am: ungreatful mistake
my grandpa thinks I am: whatever the dead do think
my boyfriend/girlfriend thinks I am: brocken, and possibly insane
my best friend thinks I am: if I had a best friend I would know

+your three best qualities = my ability to cope, to listen & drive.
+three worst qualities = inability to connect except with a certain few, my smoking , my selfishness
+three things you are often complimented for = my art, my hairstyles, and my "comforting presence"
+a compliment you got that made you blush = the comforting presence bit
+you get embarrassed when = I do something incredibly stupid. LIke drive for an hour in the wrong direction...
+makes you happy = talking with friends and loved ones, standing in the street at 4:00 a.m.
yes or no..

+you keep a diary = not a physical one.
+you like to cook = no.
+you have a secret you have not shared with anyone = yes.
+you fold your underwear = i try to... but they never stay.
+you talk in your sleep = I scream
+you set your watch a few minutes ahead = nope
+you believe in love = even after it all, I still do wholeheartedly.


x. movie you rented = x_x last one I borrowed from a friend was "The Ring"
x. movie you bought = Moulin rouge
x. song you listened to = the Prick song that Pariah just put in.
x. song that was stuck in your head = "animal on your back" which is lyrics to another prick sng pariah is constantly playing
x. song you've downloaded = haven't downloaded in a WHILE
x. CD you bought = no idea)
x. CD you listened to = "The frigile" NIN
x. person you've called = Brando
x. person that's called you = Sister eve
x. TV show you've watched = I watched conan until I passed out on wedneday
x. person you were thinking of = Brando, and Pariah, and kristen...


x. you wish you could live somewhere else = Savannah, i want to live there so bad I can taste it
x. you believe in online dating = no, but I do believe in online friends
x. others find you attractive = so it seems
x. you want more piercings = yeah, but that costs money, and I ahve to be in a certain type of mood to get one.
x. you want more tattoos = yes.
x. you drink = on rare occasions
x. you do drugs: no
x. you smoke = yes
x. you like cleaning = no, but it's something you have to do.
x. you like roller coasters = Most of them. I don't like wooden roller coasters.
x. you write in cursive or print = cursive. messily too
x. you carry a donor card = yes

have you..

x. ever cried over a boy/girl = too many times to count
x. ever lied to someone = sure have.
x. ever been in a fist fight = yep
x. ever been arrested = now that's no ones business but mine.


x. shampoo do you use = herbal essence
x. perfume do you use = none
x. shoes do you wear = either boots or my hotwheels shoes
x. are you scared of = discouraging the ones I love


x. of times I have been in love? so many times, and been "in love" on a great many levels
x. of times I have had my heart broken? many, mostly by lost friends.
x. of hearts I have broken? I don't know.
x. of boys I have kissed? probably more then I should have...
x. of people I've slept with? Depends on how you define “slept with”.
x. of people I consider my enemies? no one
x. of people from high school that I stayed in contact with? none of them.
x. of CDs' that I own? I have no clue
x. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?= never?
x. of things in my past that I regret? The number of things in my past that I regret? there are a great many things that haunt me, but I regret only refusing to trust my instincts
angelcide: (Default)
christ. been a while since I could update.
so much has happened so I will that would take too long, I'll nutshell it:
Had falling out w/roomates, left said house with no money or place to go, was taken in by the wonderfully wonderful alteredboi, started driving everyone everywhere feel awkward about certain aspects of this & the automatic assumptions it causes and am still broke. School had to go because money ran out, and I may need a kidney. Yup. think thats it.
all in all I'm doing well considering the massive fecking amounts of stress i've been under & feel very zen right now. Brando is coming monday to whisk me away to atlanta ( if he wears a mask I may die =P) just like my very own wesley -_^ .
fuck you, allow me my little cheesy joys without judgement >.<.
Pariah has been very kind to me through everything that went down, and I will never be able to thank him, or sistereve enough. I hope to be able to repay them someday. I got a decent amount of sleep at igu's and then home so I'm really not sure what to do with myself...
is it monday yet?
angelcide: (Default)
My connection is crap, so here's hoping this makes it.
I've moved in with Alteredboi, so rejoice with me! I have left the bowels of hell & feel so much better for it.
More at 11:00.
angelcide: (Default)
ya, so this entire week has been very scary & harrowing....
but I don't remember much of it.
"Thats' crazy" some of you would say, but no, alas I have VERY little memory of the week because ( drumroll) I was drugged.
Yup. Exciting, no?
Sunday night Andy's brother & sister-in-law were kind enough to put us up ( us & quite a few other people). there were grilled cheese all around, lots of coffee & koolaid.
I however did not partake because I had horrible screaming pains shooting up my back. this could mean only on thing.... KIDNEYELVES!
and nasty ones at that. SO monday I had to be driven to the Urgent treatment center where a very nice, if very sleepy sounding doctor told me, yes I had kidneyelves, a UTI ( ewww) and I may possibly have kidney stones. Wee.
so anyway, I grumble & get perscriptions & go to walmart ( which was a madhouse. ) to fill these perscriptions. There was exactly 1 pimply faced pharmisist ( possibly an Aid) who was taking everyone's orders. And I swear to god every little old lady in kentucky came to this ONE walmart to get thier medication before the apocalypse.
so either the doctor or the pharmacist fucked up because I was given an antibiotic & a REALLY strong narcotic painkiller.
SO i was reallllly loopy. I slept most of monday & stayed with ANdy's brother agian that night. but the next day I decided to relocate, because people were coming to that house from all over. ( plus it was rude to just loaf around someone else's house)
Larry called andy at some point during that day ( dunno when.....dunno where I am even now) and Andy droped me off at my mom's ( who had no electricity & was burning paper towels soaked in alchahol in her fireplace for warmth. actually a stroke of genius because alchahol burns clean. But I digress) there she & I curled under blankets for warmth while Andy & larry went to louisville to get kerosene heaters ( I am still amazed they found some) upon returnining they gave mom a heater. SHe dragged her mattress out into the living room & the four ( andy, me, mom, and gizmo) huddled around that thing for 2 days. I drifted in and out so I'm not sure when andy left or when he called, but today he called my cell & announced we had power agian. I was so happy I went back to sleep.
later however mom & giz & I came over to the house on leestown, where we all had showers, giz chased the kittens, and I could use the microwave.
I've been trying to get a hold of fen, but the last we saw of his street , I'm hoping he's ok somewhere. I can't get a hold of jen or dalton either. please give a call so I know your not dead!
and yes I have been heavily medicated through this entire journal.
angelcide: (Default)
well, it's 5:00 a.m.
and I'm awake. I am awake because the trees in our yard are staging a rebellion. At approximately 4:00 a.m. this morning, a very distressed larry poked his head into my room & said in his loudest larry voice: "get up we have to move the cars" this of course did not properly register until larry explained" the trees are covered in ice & falling all over town." covered in ice?
Nutty as it sounds, yes the trees are covered in Ice & since the wind has kicked up, have been breaking & falling all over town. They've fallen on powerlines, cars, streets. a lot of people have lost thier power, and I am amazed we haven't. ( knock on wood).
But I digress: So I trudge out of my nice warm bed & find coat & shoes to go move my car.
Getting out the door was a rick, and I sort of skidded down to my car & baet on the door until the 1/2 inch of ice cracked enough for me to pull it open.
That was realatively painless. Now for the REST of the cars. Andy moved his with ease, and larry pulled his litle red pickup around( though it did slide for the most part) and then Larry moved the caddilac.
satisfied the cars were safe, I retreated under the porch ." We have to move the dodge" larry called to Andy who was dragging fallen limbs away from the driveway.
I decided to forgo bed & assist in moving the dodge.....which turned out to be an experirnce.
First the dodge hasn't moved for about a month. Second it was likewise covered in ice. we pounded, and scraped, and pounded at the doors, but no luck. they wouldn't budge.
larry climbed in through the back hatch & decided to work at he tiny back window & see if he could get in.
andy went off omewhere & I continued to whack & pull at the passenger door.
During a break in my efforts I heard the distinct squealing of a laden tree branch overhead. I looked up, hoping I was mistaken in that there was only a small tree above us, an it as leaning away from the house.
AGian: No sucjh luck.
One of the biggest trees in the yard loomed over us. Larry ( in thr truck) cursed & continued to pry...but that tree & I were having a stare squeaked first.
Quite scred by the prospect of a limb as big around as my chest hurtling from onhish to kill me in one icy squish, I continued beating & chizzling at the door of the dodge. Andy, and larry grunted & cursed at the back window, until the passenger door gave. opening the door & scxooting in quickly, we moved the dodge.
But I think we pissed the trees off.
Since I've come inside A LARGE limb has battered the kitchen roof, and several assorted smaller ones are commiting suicide agianst the roof & the sides of the house.
I think this is tree revenge.
and they say we're getting 7 inches of snow.
if I don't call anyone in 2 days, tell me mommy I love her.
angelcide: (Default)
ripped from Altered boi, who ripped it from Damnen

5 details about you...
[x] I seem older than I am
[x] I think about things more than I let on
[x] I dream every night & most often remember
[x] I never stop drawing
[x] I am insane.

5 details about your appearance right now...
[x] I need to cut my hair
[x] I have circles beneath my eyes
[x] My nails need cleaning
[x] I need warmer socks.
[x] My pants are wrinkled

5 things you did today...
[x] Watched "City of Lost children"
[x] Took a long shower
[x] slept for 4 hours
[x] doubted my existence
[x] Fed the kittys

5 memorable things you did last year...
[x] graduated ( finally)
[x] Moved to this house
[x] Met Seale
[x] went to San diego comicon (wachah!)
[x] cut ties with someone I shouldn't have

5 things that everyone should know about you...
[x] I am Legally insane
[x] I have MANY health problems
[x] I am a HUGE otaku
[x] I am a packrat
[x] I'm stronger than I look

5 favorite bands...
[x] NIN
[x] Kidneythieves
[x] Tori amos
[x] Portishead
[x] Rasputina

5 favorite (Comic) artists
[x] Humberto Ramos
[x] Jay anacleto
[x] H.r. Giger
[x] Roman Dirge
[x] ( he's more a favorite writer) Jhonen Vasquez

5 favourite songs...
[x] "slept so long -orgy
[x] "rattlesnke" -tori amos
[x] "Lovesong"-SNC
[x] "christfuck" -cruxshadows
[x] "glitter girl" -kidneythieves

5 favourite movies...
[x] city of lost children ( domo arigato jen sama!)
[x] Harry Potter and the socerer's stone/chamber of secrets
[x] Moulin Rouge
[x] Labyrinth

5 things that make you happy...
[x] My tablet
[x] My friends
[x] My comics
[x] Music
[x] the heating blanket

5 people who mean a lot to you...
[x] Brando
[x] Proteus
[x] Altered Boi
[x] Jen/Dalton
[x] My family

5 things that disgust you...
[x] Willful dishonesty
[x] Willful ignorance
[x] Over-drama
[x] poo
[x] weakness

5 things that impress you...
[x] The Power of Hate
[x] The Power of love
[x] thought
[x] Empathy/sympathy
[x] Courage

5 things that don't impress you...
[x] Money
[x] penis size
[x] Empty boasting
[x] self-mutilation
[x] Over-dramatization

5 things you can't live without...
[x] Cats
[x] comics
[x] Music
[x] Friends
[x] Internet

5 things you'll do when you complete this...
[x] Disconnect
[x] call up andy & or/larry to see where the hell they are
[x] obsess
[x] pace
[x] fantasize

Current Clothes: black sleepy hollow cast shirt w/black "Anime: Crack is cheaper " shirt over it. Bondage pants, socks Brando's pentagram 3 rings & undies
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Silence. listening to the house talk
Current Taste: Coca cola
Current Hair: chopped off & shaved close
Current Annoyance: jealousy
Current thing I ought to be doing: cleaning?
Current Desktop Picture: little giger-looking creatures
Current Favorite Group: Snake River COnspiracy
Current Book: Wrong things - Poppy zbrite/kaitlin r. Kiernon
Current DVD in Player: LOTR, I think?
Current Color Of Toenails: Naturally natural.
Current Refreshment: coca-cola
Current Worry: too numerous to list. paraphrased: "What the hell am I doing?"
Current Crush: HA! Alan rickman as always -_^
Current Favorite Celebrity: see above
angelcide: (Default)
Wherin the deep night sky
The stars in it’s embrace
The courtyard still in it’s sleep
And peace comes over your face

-Loreena Mckinnit
I am a child of the wind. Born on the gentle brush of a moth's wings, and shown the way by a forgotten star. I am no more than the sum of my parts. An abomination, a force of creation and all that fell in between. I am a shadow of a doubt & keep myself to such.
I go not up, not down, but in.
so smile, and bow, posture and pose. It matters not.
My allies are aquaintences, and long have I been aquainted with the night.
My enemies are those who disturb the dreams of the waking world.
I am nothing of consequence.
I am something like decadence.
I am the shadow.

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow

For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a Whimper
T.S. Eliot "The Hollow Men"
angelcide: (Default)
So I am switching to Lj. wee.
Joining the herd never felt less....interesting.

So to recap recent months: lied to by best friends. repeatedly. Nearly lost significant other ( still not entirely sure that I have one at this point) Am alienated, indifferent & being burned from the inside out.
I don't hate anything now...but I don't have the capacity to try either. I'm tired but all I do is sleep. I'm lonely but always near someone. I'm sick but there's nothing new in that.

Jesus this all sounds like the WB's newest fall drivel.

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